Charli writes again

hello! I am not sure if this blog is going to end up being anything more than my own journal. I have another blog I use for detailing my day as a homeschooling grandma and nanny of three. I also use it for links for info regarding Cystic Fibrosis, as my grandson is afflicted with it.

THIS blog, however, I want to reserve for topics and thoughts related to writing and journaling through life.

It is interesting to me that when professionals refer to the act of living, they sometimes call it a "journey". Perhaps that started way back with John Bunyan in "Pilgrim's Progress". Anyway, now they tell us to "journal" about the things that interest or bother us.

I had the pleasure yesterday of meeting up with a friend with whom I went to high school. Now, that is too many years ago to reveal, but let's just say, we have matured somewhat. At least in the physical realm. I must admit, that though I gabbed and yacked as though there was no tomorrow, and laughed and had fun, so as to convince my friend I haven't changed much, the reality is, I have. Perhaps my journey has taken me through some detours in life. Things like getting a divorce after 27 years of marriage. Especially since I don't really believe in divorce. Things like meeting and marrying another man with a not-so-good past, but a wonderful present! And an even better future! I never thought I would do that! Things like kids with "issues"...the "normal" challenges of life!

Yes, my road has not been a "straight and narrow" as they say, even though I was trying to find that. The "narrow" part might fit, but it has had its curves and detours along the way. I thought I knew the roadmap and understood the way to go. But living at high-speed can cause one to loose control on those curves! I've crashed and burned a few times. I have had at least one roll-over. But I learned how to slow down and pay attention. I learned how to let God control my path. I've learned that I do not have to see what is ahead all the time, I just have to trust and obey.

Nobody likes that word "obey" any more. Yet, we "obey" the traffic laws, and the police officers. We "obey" the laws of nature. We "obey" our doctors. Or not. Some of us don't like that word "trust" either. It means we have to become vulnerable to pain again. We have to accept things we cannot control or change. We have to believe in something and Someone bigger than ourselves, often without any proof.

I did not choose to live at high-speed. It came with my inborn personality. I used to dislike that personality. But I have discovered, as I have learned to slow down, that there is need for personalities like mine. My curves were winding and hairpin style...in slower motion, I would never have been able to get moving again. Would I still have crashed and burned, though? Well, I think I probably would have just glided over a cliff, oblivious to my fate. I would have rolled over and stayed down, hidden by the bushes of life, lost in some river or valley somewhere. There is need for slower personalities, but only God knows what is ahead for each of us. He knows we learn from our errors. He knows which people need which personality and which road they must follow. The key is letting Him drive and taking pit-stops along the way to discard the processed garbage of life, and stretch oneself and be refreshed by the scenery of the aging process.

I do feel a little older, and sometimes a little slower...but I WILL keep moving on!