Half days of School Should be Outlawed!

Well, not really, I guess! Those were my honest sentiments earlier this day. In addtion to my usual charges, I had a neighbor girl and our wonderful Kindergartener since 10:30 AM as well.

Ah, the neighbor girl. I like her. She likes the games I invent. She likes to talk to me. But I wonder about how much of a friend I can be to her. You see, the girl is overweight. So am I, so this isn't about criticizing her. I was not overweight, however, at her age. Therefore, I wonder what struggles she will have to face when she reaches adulthood. Already she is experiencing the cruelty of people. She has not developed a thick skin at all. In fact, she is very overly sensitive about the subject. For example, while jumping on the trampoline with my Kindergartener, she fell on him and he said he didn't want to play with her any more on the trampoline because she was too heavy. She took that to say he called her fat and came running in to report it. He was very defensive, not having meant at all to call her fat.

The problem that I don't know how to handle is this: She wants to eat constantly! If we are playing a game, she wants to munch on candy or popcorn. If we are watching TV or a movie, popcorn or cookies is a must in her mind. If they are playing outside, she comes in after 10-15 minutes "famished", "starved", etc. She eats when she's bored, she eats when in action. She eats most all the time. She comes in and opens the cupboards, refrigerator, etc. to see what there might be to eat. She doesn't help herself without asking, but makes it obvious that she wants something. Then she asks. My grandchildren eat at her house. She calls me "Grandma" along with them, and I have no problem feeding her. But I don't like to constantly feed her. And she asks for unhealthy things if she thinks we may have them, like brownies, or cookies, or soda. I offer apples, and juices, and sometimes milk. She'll take those, but ask for the other things as well.

I don't like it that I have a problem with this. I have tried to nicely talk to her about her choices. I have talked to her about eating just because the food is there, and requested that she play outside longer, or whatever. Most of the time, those suggestions end in her going home, if her parents are there. And if not, then she pleads and begs and almost cries that she is hungry. I don't know what to do. I feel mean if I say no, especially if my grandkids are eating. By the way, the oldest one medically needs to gain weight, and he could have whatever he wanted any time to assist with that...but he is not into sweets at all. The Kindergartener likes to munch too, but he is more into a snack or two and then off to play. He rarely grazes long, and he eats well at meals. This girl is very picky at meals, which bothers me tremendously. I will not be a short-order cook. My feeling is, I give them a choice of two, sometimes three, things and between them, they must chose one. If they can't decide nicely, then I decide. Sometimes I just announce what we are having. I cook ONE thing (main thing) and offer fruits and veggies on the side, expecting them to at least try them. She will not eat the veggies at all. And is very picky about the fruit AND the main dish. I just cannot let her eat sweets and soda pop. It is a big battle. She is not a child who throws a fit. But she sits quietly pouting and tearily mentioning her hunger.

I guess I should speak more directly to her mother. But she has just said to not feed her if she is picky. I understand and abide by it, but the begging and pleading starts within minutes after the meal is done with the other kids.

I think I will suggest that when she is staying over with us in a "child care" way, that she should bring her own sack lunch like she would at school. And then I will offer a reasonable, child-friendly snack AFTER the regular lunch is eaten. If it is not eaten, then that is what she can snack on. Am I a big meanie??