A Different World

Today, the world is different than when I was a child, or even a young mother, for that matter. I remember growing up thinking that if I worked hard, I could have just about anything I wanted. I tried to pass that message along to my children, even though it hadn't totally been true for me.

I thought that love would conquer anything. I envisioned a family full of love, respect and understanding that could rise above all outside circumstances.

When I was a child, children were expected to "be seen and not heard". We were told to not interrupt adult conversation, to be on our best behavior for "company" even if that meant just the neighbor next door, and to have manners at all times. Manners, back then, consisted not only of "please and thank you" but giving up your seat to people older than you if needed, proper table etiquette, and holding the door for others. And that is a bare-bones list! Burbs and passing gas were to be done as discretely and privately as possible, and if they occurred unexpectedly, we were to adamantly apologize to any who may have known. Arguing with an adult was taboo! It didn't matter, in my family, who the adult was, nor how "correct" they were, a child just did not argue with them! The consequences of such behavior often hurt us where we sat down!

Since then, "professionals" have determined that such expectations and consequences somehow warped our psyches and bruised our egos and limited our development. Strangely, my generation seemed to be productive and creative individuals for the most part, who still believed in treating others respectfully, keeping promises, and paying their bills. Few of us thought the world (or America) owed us a living. We still get teary-eyed at patriotic songs and salute the flag when it passes. We take off our hats at the national anthem and sing along at sporting events.

Today I observe quite a different world. Patriotism is nearly a lost art. Politicians have slung mud around, campaigning for positions that most criticize and argue about. Respect has gone by the wayside. I attend sporting events where young people not only do not remove their hats for the national anthem, even when asked, but they talk all the way through it as well. And they yell and curse and sometimes shout obscenities if asked to show respect.

I see younger people, and some not so young, rush past elderly to get inside a store or bank, nearly letting the door hit the other person, rather than holding it for them. I see children screaming in stores and kicking their parents when told "no". I observe children arguing with authorities and refusing to obey rules. I see frustrated young mothers not sure what to do with these rebellious children, for fear of retribution if they should take an action that would "bruise" those little egos and cause someone to call the police! Sometimes this action is just a firm grip.

Parents seem to want to be friends with their children. This is well and good when the children are adults too. But children seem to expect their friends to be on the same page as they are...their peers. They want to have secrets and play silly things the same way we did growing up. My parents were not my friends when I was a child. My dad played with me a lot. We had family times and games and fun. But my friends were my own age, or close to it. Adults could be friendly and trusted and fun, but they were my parents friends, not mine. I am not sure how I feel about that. I do know that I feel pretty good about myself today and don't believe this warped me in any way. I do consider myself a friend of children...in a different way.

When I was a child, we were not sheltered from pain and reality. We were not allowed to live in a fantasy world of video games and virtual lives. Technology has become a poor parent. I attended funerals with my parents. I visited elderly people with my grandparents. I grieved over the loss of pets, without them being replaced immediately. I was told to "get over it" when someone hurt my feelings, or when I got hurt doing something childish or sporty. I got report cards with grades for behavior. I played on sports teams that lost games and counted scores. I didn't always get chosen for positions. I didn't make some teams. I won some awards and lost some competitions. My teachers told me I was wrong from time to time.

It is a different world today. I see a lot of good...a more global view at times. But I observe a lot of rudeness and disrespect and defiance of authority. No longer do children think adults are right. Maybe that is because we can't decide what IS right any more. We have removed the moral compass from schools and public events. We support "freedom of speech" without listening to the words being spoken. We sit back and let "statistics" tell us how to raise our children. We seek the good life which eludes many right now. The economy seems to be ruling the land. Hard work is not getting us most anything we want. So, many have quit working so hard. The government has taken responsibility for our well being and our families.

God bless America. God help us all!